For want of a nail

Sometimes, we can't see the forest for the trees. And sometimes, we can't see the trees either.

I think, that we lose track of the whole because we get lost in the details. For example, I'm dropping you readers into the middle of this after a week's absence from posting... So give me a minute to back up and explain.

I was sitting here tonight trying to figure out what to write. Checking over the blog, I realized it had been a week since the last update. I do feel some obligation to keep putting stuff up while I'm writing. Both for any unfortunate soul that visits and for my sake, to keep me actively writing instead of being distracted by daily life.

As I sat staring at the blank post screen, I realized I could write about why I didn't have anything to write about. I was going to ramble on about the importance of having an idea, drafting it, editing it and then posting. Even the lack of having a title was going to make a good point, despite the fact that it was obviously going to have one by the time I posted.

That lead into a large discussion (or monologue) about what it meant to have details. Examples and counterpoints about how we can see the whole of a book but not understand what went into making it. That we had to have it broken down into parts like letters and words so that we could understand it, without breaking it down into authors, publishers, printers.

Then I got to thinking about how it applies to people.

I think that we get accustomed to being able to put things in their place. We break things down by defining them, making parts a whole entity themselves and then breaking those entities down into smaller parts and repeating the process. The Greeks once thought that the smallest thing that existed was an atom. And we held onto that idea in physics until we found a way to break it down into smaller and smaller parts.

Kids don't have that hang-up. When a child moves, they're usually able to make new friends and eventually adapt to their new home. Maybe it's because they like to play tag, and find a game that's the same or similar enough at their new home. Or maybe the new kids are outgoing enough to draw them in (or the child herself is outgoing enough to engage the new kids). The point is that they are usually far more flexible than adults to deal with changes in their life. They haven't broken themselves down into tiny pieces that have to be defined so that they are the same person that they were. They were at their old home, now they're at the new home. It doesn't affect that they like to play tag (or whatever game is preferred), it's just that they appreciate the individual segments of themselves without needing it to broken down to atoms.

As we get older, we get used to playing tag "our way." We start to lock down details and define them beyond being fuzzy concepts. We make parts of parts, so that we can better understand them. Teenagers are a prime example. They're busy trying to establish their own cultural view, appearance, even knowledge and general demeanor. They try to say who they are, while figuring out how catalogue their details like a score card. It helps them to find others when they have similar score cards, and perhaps gives them a path to follow to be more like the people they idolize. Except that some things are exceedingly hard to define.

When we finish the transition from those years, we're told it's a good time to "find ourselves." And a few years after that, you're expected to have finished logging your values and virtues and be that kind of person.

But people aren't permanent like stone; they're far more like water. While we're far more fluid as kids and kind of freeze up into ice as we become adults, we're still able to alter and change. The characteristics that compose us are both internally defined and externally given. But they aren't permanent.

We can get lost just trying to define ourselves and wonder why that is. I think it's because we can change. Our parts don't stay the same; they wear out and get replaced or improved. The details that make us "us", aren't things that you can continuously break down until you find their atoms and understand them.

You can be a generous person your whole life, and but not for the same reasons all the time. It could be because you had a good day, or because someone had a bad one, or maybe just because you had a lot and felt like sharing. Even breaking a person down into parts to say that they're generous or stingy might be going too far. But it's as far as we can go before we stop seeing the forest because of the atoms in the trees.